Trafficking versus Prostitution

Saying one is against human trafficking is substantially more acceptable than stating one is anti-prostitution. For one thing, the word “human” in human trafficking does not explicitly link the practice with females, although it is girls and women who are overwhelmingly the victims of sexual slavery. Furthermore, the term trafficking is not about sexuality, which is itself associated with women (As in, to be a woman is to be sex).   When we discuss human trafficking and sexual slavery images of people being kidnapped and held against their will come to the minds of the people I talk with. So what happens when people find out that many girls and women entered the sexual servitude industries of (what appears to be) their own free will? In individualist societies, both men and women want to hold one another accountable for their choices. Even sickness is looked at more sympathetically if it is believed the individual in no way contributed to her own illness.

Does identifying as outside the gender binary help eliminate gender?

A common theme brought up when feminists debate genderists is that not all trans* people are attempting to switch between two genders. (For those not in the loop, the asterisk after trans refers to transgender and transsexual individuals, as well as “genderqueer, Non-Binary, Genderfluid, Genderfuck, Intersex, Third gender, Transvestite, Cross-dresser, Bi-gender, Trans man, Trans woman, Agender“). From this wording alone, it is clear that those who do believe they are opting out of the gender binary are actually playing with gender.  If one is participating in a genderfuck or calls themselves genderfluid, there is still an assumption that two genders exist and that stereotypes from the two genders can be mixed and matched. But, what about someone who considers themselves not to have a gender at all? What is the feminist response to this?

Very Young Girls: critiquing an excellent film

 

Earlier this year I read and reviewed Rachel Lloyd’s absolutely excellent book, Girls Like Us.  For those not in the know, Lloyd is the founder of GEMS, the only alternative to incarceration for young women convicted on prostitution charges in the state of New York. Young women (up to age 21, I believe), may be provided housing by GEMS for a short period of time, or they may be mandated to attend the programming, say, twice a week. There are support groups where the women are open about their struggles; GEMS staff also provide assistance finding jobs, going back to school, and making sure the women have proper identification/social security cards, items their pimps often steal.

Despite my love of GEMS, and in spite of the fact that I was glued to this film, I have some real problems with the paradigmof Very Young Girls.

Exercise

Like most women in the Western world, I have a complex relationship with exercise. I like doing it because it makes mes feel better afterwards. At the same time, I don’t want to only do it because I feel I have to in order to maintain a specific body shape.

I also realize that exercise, as in, taking time out from one’s day to perform specific exercises, is rather classist. Like “working on a tan,” the emphasis on a thin body is part of the way women with money can differentiate themselves from those of the lower classes. If one must work all day and then cook, and take care of one’s own children when is there time for formal exercise? Additionally, if one is just scrapping by, it is unlikely she will have the money to work out at a gym. Thus, she will not have access to all the various equipment to work the different muscle groups that a more wealthy women will have access to. True, she can go running (again, if she has the time), but in the long term, running is very bad for the knees. I know women who have even had to have surgery on their knees due to their frequent running.

Is Noam our ally?

I am not of the camp that no men can be allies in women’s struggle for liberation. Certainly, having major male figures amplify our words is a help. And ultimately, it is men who have to change, and men are more concerned with what other men think of them than giving a shit about what women think (or else rape would have stopped by now, right? And there would be no more such thing as rape– i.e. torture–jokes!)

Noam Chomsky is perhaps the most well known of men on the left. I have listened to quite a few of his talks as well as perused his essays online, and I very much enjoy his work. He really limits his scope, though, to U.S. foreign policy, even though he professes a libertarian-socialist economic tradition.

Awhile ago, I came across a response to someone who had asked him about domestic violence. I, of course took this to be a question about men’s violence against women. Instead, it was about the state perpetuating violence against its own citizens. Yet for women, most violence is truly domestic, meaning coming from inside the home. Chomsky could have mentioned that some groups, including women, live under much more of a state of terror than do, say white men, but he chose not to. This is a major critique I have of his work: he treats all citizens as though they are equal, unless, say, he happens to be talking about undocumented folks, but then undocumented women and men are treated the same. He repeatedly mentions the probability of environmental catastrophe, but leaves out that in parts of the world that have been impacted by environmental catastrophe, such as Haiti, women have experienced the worst effects. Come to think of it, I don’t recall him even mentioning the rapes by U.S. soldiers against women in countries “we” have invaded…or the rapes of male U.S. military personnel against their comrades in uniform.

Bitter and angry: fitting the stereotype of a feminist is something to celebrate, my friends!

Dear Sisters,

I feel like a lot of what feminists, do is vent, because there simply aren’t a lot of victories for us, and there’s a whole lot of dead female bodies and intense female pain. Perhaps this is why so many women attempt to ignore men’s violence against us; if male supremacy is a thing of a by-gone era, my brother isn’t hurting anyone by getting a lapdance. If women are no longer subordinate to men, my sister must have done something wrong to get those black and blue marks on her neck. However, I question how many women actually are ignorant about men’s violence. I think it takes a lot of effort to attempt to ignore the violence in front of your face. Is it more work to ignore it or to fight it? Which one pays off more–for both the individual as well as for the group? Food for thought…

For better or worse, I have never gone along with the  “ignorance is bliss” set described above. Thus, I decided to splurge my $$$ and attend the Woman’s Day of Action at Occupy Wall Street (OWS). Unfortunately, the WDoA was not advertised, or at least not advertised clearly, on official OWS sites. I do not blame the organizer’s for this; for events that matter to people (read: men and those with male-identification), events have a way of getting out. Seems anything with the smell of “woman” is not going to be placed front and center. Hell, we can call women cunts, sluts, whores, pussy, sex-kittens, cumdumsters, or, at best, “girls,” but never Women. When no one wants to say it, it’s a damn powerful word, and one to reclaim, in my opinion.

Remembrance Day: Why are only some counted as courageous?

November 11 marks Remembrance Day, or what is more commonly called Veteran’s Day in the U.S. In a warmongering country such as the U.S., I have problems with any special days to celebrate how “great” the U.S. is. However, I do realize (mostly) men join the military for a variety of reasons, not necessarily because they are in love with the U.S. Indeed, it is by far poor men of color who are coerced into fighting abroad. Having a day where the U.S. apologies for its’ actions, announces reparations we/it will be making, and also apologizes to the men and women fighting in the wars would be nice. For those who think that’s asking for a lot: is asking for honesty calling for too much?

And yet, I also find myself wondering why there is no  Day of Remembrance for survivors of the Longest War ever, the War on Women.

I know, I know the answer to that: because women are not yet respected. If we were respected, there would already be such a day, or perhaps such a day would not be needed, since men would be overflowing with respect for women, and women for one another.

Yet, I can’t help but envision what a Remembrance Day for Women might look like.

We could celebrate all that’s been done to combat men’s war on women.  We could celebrate the women in our lives by taking them on picnics. Perhaps this picnic could take place at a playground, so children, especially, girl children, would have the time of their lives. We could  create unique badges of honor proclaiming how each woman in our life has helped us.. We could also have different medals for being survivors of various types of men’s violence–and there would be no shame in wearing them, for there would be no shame in being a survivor. The shame belongs firmly to the perpetrators; this is something we would all know in every cell that runs through our beings.

I’m sure women have many, many more ideas than these. But I imagine something celebratory and non-competitive. Something where no woman would walk away feeling alone or less-than.

As I said previously, this day would not be about fighting and winning, but about celebrating. It would be about giving us energy to continue our hard work in the Battles we fight everyday, small and not-so-small.

I know we have International Women’s Day, but what about a day to celebrate us…to acknowledge our history as survivors and thrivers?

As we don’t currently have this Veteran’s Day, why not call attention to the women survivors of male violence this Veteran’s Day? We should also include women military personnel who have had to endure male sexual violence while in the military. Carolyn Gage writes about her own idea for doing such here. At least at one point in time, women weren’t staying hydrated in order to avoid walking to the latrines alone at night, where they were likely to be raped. And what about the prostituted women used by members of the arms forces? Are these women to be forgotten while we memorialize the men who raped them? Just recently, I learned about women from China being sent to U.S. forces in Iraq for sexual servicing. And as shown in the video above, the occupation of Iraq has made it easier for Iraqi men to prey on Iraqi women as well. I, for one, in no way want to take part in memorializing the men who participated in raping women while abroad or who take pride in making it easier for other men to rape women.

When all is said and done, as the human race, we have a lot of remembering to do. One thing to keep in mind is this: What is remembered is in itself political.

This post was inspired by a conversation with a friend in an airport. An announcement was made that there would be a special room to honor vets–this was not on any holiday that I am aware of–and she pointed out that survivors of the Longest War in history were being excluded.

Link Roundup: What’s caught my eye as of late

Survivor, writer and activist Christine Stark has a wonderful new book out, Nickels, that, although not autobiographical, details a childhood journey through hell. For those of you who have not read Stark’s writing, she’s absolutely brilliant.I am taking the liberties of using the following passage from Carolyn Gage’s review:

“I want to give an example of Stark’s brilliant stream-of-consciousness, literary and spot-on accurate portrayal of PTSD. This is an excerpt from the chapter titled “Age Twenty-five.” A little backstory: When the heroine was ten her father made her wear a purse, where he would put the nickels he gave her after sexually abusing her. Now, she is in a women’s bookstore attempting to purchase a feminist novel:

“Sarah rings me up That’ll be 1.95 with tax I give her two dollars five cents is your change she drops a nickel so shiny and bright into my hand I freeze the nickel rolls off my hand onto the counter I stare at it I want to tell someone something the nickel circles itself on the counter looking for a place to settle I don’t move What’s going on Tara says somewhere over my shoulder I stare at the nickel spinning in a spot next to the pile of bright pink A Room of One’s Own bookmarks I shake my head I don’t want them to think I’m crazy don’t want them to know a nickel dropped out of the sky into my hand made me want to die Keep the change I grab the book walk under the shimmering crystal into the street”

Read the rest of Gage’s write-up here.

If you haven’t checked out the website Sisters Underground, you really ought to. They have a link to a Powerpoint Presentation strategizing ideas for the movement. We need you!

Even if you’re not a podcast kind of gal, I highly recommend listening to Meghan Murphy’s radio documentary on the medicalization of women’s sexuality.  In the first part, a woman talks about how sex, specifically PIV sex is being used to promote health. In the case of cancer, women who have PIV are told they are healthier than lesbian or celibate women. The media messages are everywhere, as you’ll be reminded in this interview. Radio broadcasting doesn’t get much better than this.

PLUS: Looking for something more than male-run occupations? Looking for ending capitalism in a more effective manner? Check out DGR’s ideas, and help make them go viral! Another up-and-running site, focused purely on the bringing feminism to the “occupy” movement, is OccupyPatriarchy.

This is what empowerment looks like: Rachel Lloyd speaks!

Imagine, if you need to imagine, growing up in a home with an alcoholic mother, one who swallows pills while you’re right in the room. Rather than ask for help, she encourages your young, teenage self, to go out clubbing, so she, unbeknownst to you, can die. This is the world that Rachel Lloyd, author of  Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale, an Activist Finds her Calling and Heals Herself
grows up in. Girls Like Us is the best book I’ve read in a quite some time. It’s around 250 pages, but the reading goes quickly, at least if you’re like me, and not sickness nor homework can make you put the book down!

For those of you for whom the name “Rachel Lloyd” does not ring a bell, Lloyd is the founder of the organization GEMS. GEMS assists girls and young women in getting out of “the life,” a name commonly used to refer to the world of paid rape (i.e. prostitution). While most of the book focuses on the individual stories, struggles, successes, and relapses, of girls in GEMS, what makes the book so powerful is that Lloyd interweaves her own tale of sexual exploitation and trafficking to make her points clearer.  While arguing against the glamorization of pimping, she also explains that girls stay with their pimps for a reason. Indeed, Lloyd asks: why is it that the feminist movement no longer blames women for staying with batterers, but still sees women as making a choice to stay with a pimp? She also points out that pimps provide girls with things they desire, material things such as food, clothing, and shelter, but also a feeling of home. She describes girls who are found by pimps the first hour they get off the train after running away from a home that was not really a home. Pimps do not have to provide adolescents and pre-adolescents with much for them to feel cared for. Indeed, one GEMS participant describes going to a “fancy restaurant” for dinner; Lloyd later finds out the restaurant is Red Lobster, a popular chain restaurant in parts of the U.S.  As I have been in an abusive relationship(s), this analogy made a lot of sense to me. Not everything was bad all the time. But eventually there becomes a point where the cons outweigh whatever one is getting from the relationship.

While Lloyd does describe pimps as an integral part of the lives of the girls she works with, it is important to note that not everyone who is prostituted has a pimp. Sometimes women end up prostituting themselves, for any of a myriad of reasons, most especially money, mental illness, and addiction.  This may occur after pimping. I don’t want readers who have prostituted themselves for money or any other reason to feel badly reading this, as selling one’s body simply could not happen if there wasn’t a demand for it. Nor if women weren’t solely seen as The Sex Class.

Lloyd discusses choice in a brilliant way. After leaving a mother that could not take care of her, Lloyd ends up spending all day in a German city, desperately attempting to find a job.  As she is not old enough to legally work and can only speak a word or two of German, she gets turned down from absolutely every place she looks for work. Without money and desperate for food, she sees a sign that says, Girls, Girls, Girls. This is how Lloyd makes the “choice” to work in a strip club–only until she can earn enough money to go back to her mother–but ends up meeting her pimp, JP, there (75).

Lloyd writes, “For a long time I’ve felt guilty about the way I entered the sex industry.” She has been told straight out that since she was “older” than most of the girls she works with (seventeen) “obviously she made a choice (77).” This kind of judgement is exactly what survivors fear from telling “square” people.  This is not even to mention how harshly women judge themselves for their “choices.” That is why Lloyd tells the young women of GEMS that they need to forgive themselves in order to alleviate their profound sense of shame. Lloyd says to them, “Whatever you thought you had to do to survive or stay alive, it’s okay (77).”  She does note that it’s easier to see the girls lack of choices as just that when looking at them from an outsiders perspective; when looking at one’s own life, it’s easier to say, “why didn’t I do X, Y, or Z?”

Lloyd’s book focuses on underage girls, even though Lloyd herself fights for abolition for all women and prostituted persons. She wonders why there are people–and I have encountered them as well–who think it’s perfectly fine for a 16-year-old to make the “choice” to enter the sex industry, when most parents are wary to give their car keys to a child that age (80)! Even if an adult woman does “choose” to enter the sex industry, there is no way she can no what she is getting herself into, or how she will never quite fit into the square world again.  Always, there will be a wall, thin as glass, between you and the outside world.

For example, when Lloyd began working at the strip club, she had no idea this would eventually lead her to JP, who attempts to kill her on several occasions. With a knife at her throat, Lloyd must repeat that she loves JP and will not be unloyal. This begins at 3:14 a.m. and she must continue repeating the words, knife at throat, until 8:30 in the morning (151).

Lloyd describes another near-death experience, when a man she is seeing, Mike, drives her to a ditch in an attempt to murder her. However, she begs him to believe her when she says there is no one else she is seeing, and he “relents”–by making her take her shoes and socks off and run after the car for well over an hour. Lloyd’s feet are covered in blood by the time this exercise is over. Once back on the road with Mike, she runs out of the car and escapes to the police station.  The police bring in Mike, but he makes up a story that she likes rough sex, and male cops being male cops, they buy it (122). Notably, there is a woman officer at the station who believes her, but she is not able to make the cops arrest Mike. Nor is she able to make Mike give back all of her savings he stole, which he now claims are his.

Although Lloyd leaves out many of the details of her time in the life, these stories by themselves are obviously incredibly disturbing. What kind of person would just say “prostitution should be decriminalized!” after reading this book, I find myself wondering. And yet, Lloyd has faced criticism from the left, apparently for being too religious. I find this extremely odd, because Lloyd rarely discusses religion, and certainly doesn’t preach it to her readers. If one actually reads her book, one will see she finds people who care about her in the church community. This acts as a crutch for her to move forward with her  feminist and progressive, passions. This is not to say finding a higher power isn’t helpful to her, as it is to many people–including women and men in groups such as A.A.

I worry those who read this review will believe it is another incredibly depressing book about sex trafficking. But despite the horrors Lloyd so eloquently articulates, she is not only a survivor, but a thriver. She starts GEMS out of an act of desperation–you’ll have to read the book to find out all the details–but she now is able to provide the kind of support she would have wanted to get out of the life to female  youth in NYC.

Oh, and Lloyd writes in her Acknowledgements: Thanks to my mother for supporting me in telling my story. I love you much and always, and I’m so glad we have the beautiful relationship  that we now have. I’m proud of you and thankful you’re my mom. Truly.

It’s nice to know that some relationships are mendable.

Do non-prostituted women belong in the aboloitionist movement?

Dear Sisters,

As someone who has never had to enter the sexploitation industries, I sometimes question my own role in the movement to end modern day slavery. As sociologist David Karp writes of depression,”The only way anyone can ever get something is to be it and experience it exactly as those who live it do. Cognition alone of a human experience always falls short of understanding. Moreover, when it comes to human pain and suffering, why would anyone be emotionally predisposed to truly get it (1996:42)?”

I very much agree with Karp’s analysis here. There is no way someone who has not undergone a certain experience can truly understand what it’s like. I’m not saying that prostituted persons are a monolith, or that they agree about everything. This is not true of any group, including civilians in a war zone. What I am saying is there is a certain insider knowledge that those of us who have never experienced life in this war zone will never have. Rachel Lloyd, founder of GEMS, discusses this in her book, Girls Like Us. She talks about the girls/young women being more trusting of her because she is a survivor; at one point, she describes a group session where the girls start telling various stories about their time in the life, the awful things their pimps did to them, and so forth. They are comfortable talking about this because they all “get it.” There is no judgement here, especially judgement surrounding the P-word.

I recognize there are survivors who are okay with the use of the p-word (see here and here), but I have also heard the term “paid rape victim,” used. While prostituted  is meant to show something was done to you, if not by an individual than due to the force of money, there still is tremendous hatred of the prostituted class, and I recognize not every exited women, including those who identify as abolitionist/radical feminists, prefers this term. Referring again to Lloyd’s book, she discusses learning the phrase, “commercially sexually exploited child/youth” (CSEC for short) and discusses her attempts to get media reporters to use this friend in place of “ex-child prostitute.” A prostitute, she explains, is what somebody is, and that allows for an identity that can never be shed. Indeed, Lloyd tries fervently to shed her past by returning to school after dropping out at the age of thirteen; she ends up overcompensating (her words) and goes on to very quickly earn a Masters.

The hatred of prostituted women is everywhere, at the same time sex-for-money is glamorized on television and in movies. For example, when I search in my school database for a particular article about what women paid as escorts said about the men who paid them, what I come up with instead are articles about the (supposed) “psychopathology of the prostitute.” ALL the articles focus on the women whose bodies are in the marketplace and what is wrong with THEM; not a single one comes up looking at the buyers, though I know a few such studies do indeed exist. If women in the life are the ones with the problem, what does this say about who our society values? Need one even ask?

Because so many people–almost everyone, really–does judge former or current women in the life–why should women who have exited the paid rape industries trust me, a woman who has faced her own set of sexual traumas, but none that rival being raped and gang raped several times a week? When a female social worker employed in a drop-in center that works with women in the life  jokingly calls herself a whore because of the perfume she is wearing and says, “that’s not what I do to pick up a date,” referring to how the women she’s working with make money, why should a never-been-prostituted women be trusted?

I very much think the abolitionist struggle should be survivor run-and-led. I have seen it as my place to enhance survivor voices. However, is it not always preferable to be with one who has been through similar experiences, because there is so much that can’t be explained in words about the experience? About the anger at self and others and the total injustice, the way the men who did those things to you will never ever be bought to justice and there are no ways to describe the rage…

These is where my thoughts are right now. I hope survivors especially will reply to this one.